SEATTLE, WA — Prospective homebuyers will finally get the most critical piece of information when browsing on Zillow, the popular online real estate app. This week, the company announced that all property sold in a Democrat-run city would feature a warning icon informing shoppers that the home will likely be taken over by the homeless and eventually burnt to the ground.
“I think it adds value to our site,” founder Rich Barton said. “When buying a home, it’s the details that really matter. Will you be able to leave your house? Will the local school district mandate Cosmo magazine be mandatory reading for your 3rd grader? Will a roving gang be wildly swinging crowbars at your wife as she walks the dog? These are important things.”
New homebuyers Megan and Phil Bartlett were pleased with the new feature. “It helped us tremendously. We found this cute home in the Los Angeles area, but then the alert popped up,” Megan reported. “Not having rioters burn down our home and dance on the ashes was high on Phil’s wish list. So we broadened the parameters 850 miles and found a great place in Meridian, Idaho.”
Update: Gavin Newsom is furious at the Bartlett family and is demanding to know how they could leave after all he’s done for them.
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