After Harvard University’s unsuccessful attempt to void Ben Shapiro’s degree, the school has formally requested the well-known conservative to forget everything that was taught to him while he attended.
Sources tell The Glorious American there was a mob of angry progressives demanding Shapiro’s acceptance letter to Harvard be retroactively rescinded. “We had our best lawyers extensively research the possibility of that,” said Dean of Admissions, William Fitzsimmons. “But we learned that would involve a fair amount of time travel. Asking Ben to just remove the knowledge we gave him is our only route,” he concluded.
When Ben heard of the college’s request, his response was lighting fast. “Oh, I see,” quipped Shapiro, “I’ll get right on that. That is to say, as soon as they fully refund me the $200,000 I paid them.”
Regarding Shapiro’s suggestion of a full refund, Harvard had no comment.