This morning while the White House was setting up for the time-honored turkey pardoning ceremony, the turkey slated to be spared had some cleaning up to do.
Sources tell The Glorious American that the turkey having his life spared is named Butters and is a registered Democrat. Even more damning, Butters has done his fair share of Trump criticism on social media.
One tweet from 2017 read:
“Are Republicans really going to keep defending the man who openly says he grabs women by the gobble?”
Earlier this year Butters posted: “Putin’s puppet! I know Mueller’s got the goods, just wait!” on Facebook.
Comments like these from Butters are giving him and his chicks reason to worry President Trump may withdraw the pardoning.
With only hours remaining until the ceremony, multiple sources can confirm Butters was at his laptop frantically scrubbing his social media of the anti-Trump posts.
Update: Because Trump decided Butters’ life should be spared, the left has now unanimously agreed Butters must die and be served to the media buffet-style.