While making a campaign stop in Corpus Christi, Texas, President Donald Trump made an astonishing discovery.
“Hold it. I need a Diet Coke and an old-timey telescope. Right away!” Trump abruptly yelled into the microphone. “I think I see, what some would say…an opportunity.”
After a few seconds of holding the telescope up to his eye and peering towards the ocean, the President turned to the crowd and smiled.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s exactly what I thought. Would you believe there are two adorable little states roughly three leagues west?!” He asked while pointing to his discovery. “Even as a young child I was always great at exploring, and I think it shows. But you know what? Those states need senators—and quickly!”
The audience, delirious with the good news, began chanting “Four-more-senators!” while Trump waved his fingers as if he were conducting their chants.
“Ok. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to use this telescope to take a quick peek directly into the Sun, and then head back to Washington,” he said as campaign staff rushed to take the device away from him.
Update: Democrats are furious at Trump’s discovery and have begun frantically combing the California coastline for more states.