In a stunning compromise, the GOP has surrendered America’s right to bear arms for a chance to remain on Twitter and Facebook. President Trump inked the deal on Wednesday and all guns will be rounded up early next week.
“Yeah, I mean… sometimes you have to take the best deal on the table,” remarked President Trump. “I know I’m going to get some blow back on this, but I spend several hours a day on Twitter and hardly any time shooting someone.”
Once the ink was dry, @SenateGOP tweeted “OK Folks! We’re here on twitter for good!” but Twitter quickly deleted the tweet. “We said for the CHANCE to remain on social media,” said Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey.