NEW YORK, NY –They say African-Americans can’t dominate sports, but don’t tell that to MSNBC’s Joy Reid. The cable host shattered the Rubik’s Cube world record on Thursday by completing the puzzle in only 5.7 seconds. Her secret? Grabbing a black Sharpie and coloring all six sides black super fast.
“As soon as I saw those other colors, I knew they had to go, and fast,” Reid said holding the trophy. “I always knew I had it in me. I have a ton of experience in aggressively trampling over the wrong colors.”
In an interesting turn of events, the organizers of the National Competitive Speedcubing were arrested for hate crimes after they protested Reid’s inspiring win.
“They yelled, ‘Hey, they can’t all be black! There’s supposed to be other colors too!’ and then Joy started screaming, ‘shoot them!’ over and over,” a police officer commented. “They said they were referring to the Rubik’s Cube, but no one believes them in this racial climate.”
Naturally, ESPN named Reid Athlete of the Year, which required bumping LeBron James into the women’s category. But when ESPN remembered that the Woman of the Year is better, they flipped it back.
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