WASHINGTON, DC –In yet another embarrassing display of incompetence, the Capitol Police squad accidentally all shot each other while trying to conduct a 21-gun salute during the January 6th special TV event.
Apparently, two groups of Capitol Police faced each other and fired their rifles directly forward. Lieutenant Michael Byrd, the man famous for shooting innocent women and leaving his loaded gun in bathroom stalls, was in charge of training the team for this exercise.
“I guess people are mad because they should have shot up in the air or something. But I shoot people all the time and have never gotten into any trouble. So what’s the big deal?” Byrd said.
“This is awful! With our brilliant Capitol Police force decimated, who will protect us from FBI agents who attack us–I mean from Trump supporters?” Chuck Schumer asked. “To make things worse, so many of these men had recently healed from hand arthritis. Something about spending all day holding the Capitol building doors open last year.”
But the ceremony still had its bright spots. At one point there was a beautiful fireworks display off in the background.
Update: Those were not fireworks, but rather BLM burning down a Macy’s.
[@DistefaD Contributed To This Article. Follow Him On Twitter!]
Give Us Story Ideas