When Media Matters uncovered a 1997 radio interview of Donald Trump saying: “Snow? Oh, it’s terrific. Believe me–just terrific,” it largely went unnoticed. However, when Mitt Romney heard the clip, he sprung into action.
“I think what we have here is a President who’s gone insane,” Romney softly said to a gathering of press. “Snow? Who likes snow?” he sharply asked. “I think we all know he only likes it because it’s white and I, for one, won’t promote such bigotry. Utah will take the appropriate actions to respond to this mad man.”
Using Utah’s $5.9 million dollar emergency fund, Romney has demanded state officials use hair dryers to melt all the state’s snow immediately. “So Trump thinks snow looks terrific? Well, then I want this place looking like Saudi Arabia in two days!” Romney screamed at the workers with a bullhorn.
So desperate to eradicate the hateful ice crystals, Mitt grabbed a pair of hairdryers to help out himself.
But despite his determination, locals confronted the Senator and expressed their displeasure for “Operation Snowflake”.
“I think the great people of Utah elected me to work for them,” Romney began. “Now, does that mean working against their interest by exacting revenge on the President to quench my feelings of insecurities? Yes, I think it does.”