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Joe Biden Condemns Stop-and-Frisk, Proposes the More Efficient “Frisk”

Joe Biden Condemns Stop-and-Frisk, Proposes the More Efficient “Frisk”

In recent days, Mayor Bloomberg’s controversial Stop-and-Frisk program has been in the news, forcing presidential candidates to comment on it.

“I believe the practice of detaining, questioning, and molesting civilians is completely ridiculous,” Biden told the press during an Ohio campaign stop. “It’s classic bloated government. Why not skip to the fun part? Why not just ‘frisk’?”

Noticing the crowd seemed uncomfortable with this statement, Biden tried to lighten the mood by grabbing a reporter and massaging her shoulders.

“Heyyyy, lighten up, everybody. It’s me, ol’ Joe,” he whispered to the press.

At this time campaign manager, Greg Schultz ran up and began squirting Biden with a spray bottle while sharply yelling: “NO! Bad Joe!” as he shooed him into the campaign bus.

Once Biden was safely secured inside the bus, Schultz tried to clarify his candidate’s statements: “What Joe meant to say was he doesn’t believe any part of stop-and-frisk is appropriate for Americans. It was a totally awful practice.”

To Schultz’s great frustration, he and the reporters then clearly heard: “But we’re going to keep the frisk part still, right?!” being yelled from the campaign bus.

It was Biden who yelled the question while popping his head up through a small vent of the vehicle. The staff struggled to pull him down and eventually a sedative was administered.