Racing fans at Daytona 500 got a real treat Sunday, as President Trump demanded Air Force One fly low enough for him to give high fives to everyone. Federal aviation laws require aircrafts stay at least 500 feet away from spectators, but Trump was able to convince his pilot that rule was only for ‘wimpy losers’ and the massive airplane came within thirty inches of the crowd.
“That was AWESOME!” screamed Buddy Burkshaw of Dothan, FL. “We saw that plane coming across the bleachers and I just held my hand up, closed my eyes and connected with the Trumpster himself!”
The high five that Buddy and hundreds of others received was accompanied by scalding third-degree burns and a thrust that scattered everyone like petals of a dandelion throughout the stands. Like everything the President does, yesterday’s act is being dissected across political lines.
“This is why Trump won,” Sean Hannity tweeted shortly after the President’s Daytona greeting. “Ask yourself this: Would Obama have unexpectedly zoomed a Bowing 747 inches from everyone’s heads? No. He wouldn’t have.”
After flash polling revealed a whopping 82% of Americans found Trump’s daring aerial maneuver to be “freaking awesome”, many on the left are quick to point out that Democrats have cool people too. Most noticeably Beto O’Rourke, citing the many times he has driven his car through red lights, busy sidewalks, and farmer’s markets.