GLENDALE, AZ –The NFL has an image problem, and Commissioner Roger Goodell has vowed to correct it.
Shortly after announcing that Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre will be headlining this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, Goodell demanded no more than 182 N-words to be yelled during their performance.
“I have spoken with Mr. Dogg and the good Doctor and the three of us came to an agreement,” Goodell began his press conference. “They are free to flood America’s living rooms with a barrage of N-words in 7.1 Dolby Digital surround sound, but they need to pump the brakes around the 180 mark. The NFL’s values are at stake, everyone. 180 or 182 N-words is fine. But more than that? That’s just not who we are.”
The two rappers accepted the terms and quickly cashed their checks. However, they immediately alerted Goodell that they would definitely be far exceeding the 182 N-word limit.
The development forced the commissioner to address the press again.
“I’m hopeful we won’t exceed 300 N-words, but they just kept telling me ‘n****, please,’” Goodell informed. “But the fine gentlemen did assure me that M&M won’t be saying the N-word. I would certainly hope not. America’s favorite candy treat would never do such a thing.”
Update: Roger Goodell is considering removing the N-word limit if Dr. Dre agrees to take a look at the rash bothering his nether regions.
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