MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A local man, who wishes to remain anonymous, was left ashamed and embarrassed after realizing he had mistaken a WNBA game for a horse racing event.
The man, who is named Adam Wagner, is a self-proclaimed horse racing enthusiast and was thrilled to learn Minneapolis was hosting the event.
“I saw a billboard of what looked like horses running, and I purchased tickets immediately,” Adam said. “Had I paid more attention, I would have noticed the beasts on the advertisement were actually WNBA players. Apparently, there’s a team here called the Lynx. I am so humiliated. I would be devastated if the guys at work found out about this.”
Adam, who is the General Manager of the Ace Hardware in Hopkins, MN, elaborated on his confusing evening.
“I stayed the whole game. I thought they were horses the whole night. I was having a blast,” he said. “There were only three or four people there, and I kept telling them things like, ‘look at these beautiful creatures,’ and ‘I want to feed the tall one an apple from my hand.’ They were getting very uncomfortable and eventually called the police. I feel like an idiot. Thank goodness no one knows where I live.”
While Adam is embarrassed by his mistake, the WNBA is furious. His story has sparked a national conversation, with many attendees sharing similar awkward stories. The seven Minnesota-area lesbian Lynx ticketholders plan to picket outside Adam’s home located at 1801 NE Hamlet Dr. Hopkins, MN 55305.
“That was a woman’s basketball game?! I thought it was horse racing!” Tweeted another angry fan. “So when I yelled that ‘Too bad she needs to be shot’–that was just a WNBA player rolling her ankle? This is an outrage!”
Update: The WNBA has now decided to market all their games as horse racing events to keep attendance up.
Give Us Story Ideas