Star basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate, LeBron James, has graciously offered to help the Fox News Channel with its ratings problem.
Just days ago, Fox News sat atop the cable news landscape. However, the network’s ratings fell sharply after their odd decision to cancel the 2020 Presidential Election and just scream, “Joe Biden won!” an hour before the first polls closed.
The NBA recently had a ratings collapse of their own after unveiling their new slogan ‘We Don’t Like White People’. So naturally, LeBron James felt he could offer FOX a timely assist.
After filling his hands with chalk powder and tossing it all over the conference room, James explained how he could right the ship.
“Ok, first thing’s first, you trade Tucker to CNN for one of the Cuomo brothers—don’t care which one. He’s gotta go. He’s holding this network down,” he said to many baffled faces in the room.
“Next, you lose that Neil Cavuto guy. Gone!” James yelled.
“Are we going to trade him too?” a Fox executive asked.
“No. I’m adding him to my entourage,” LeBron replied. “That man won’t allow bad news to hurt the feelings of a Democrat. I must have him.”