Tom Brady’s unwillingness to mock and whine about the 45th President has formally been recognized as Trump support. For this, he must pay.
The NFL made the brave decision after corporate sponsors threatened not to give them some of their money.
“Tom really crossed the line this time,” Rodger Goodell said. “Maybe he’s friends with Trump as a type of compensation for his career and love-life failings. I’m not sure, but his Buccaneers will be assessed a 15-yard penalty for Tom’s horrifying actions.”
Due to fears he will probably start a huge insurrection in the stadium, much of the press have lobbied the NFL to have Brady suspended, arrested, and hung.
“I’m only focused on the game,” the quarterback commented to the rabid press.
“Only focused on the game? Does that mean you’re not focusing on racism towards transgender Muslim house cats?” an ESPN reporter yelled before tackling him.
Update: Assuming Donald Trump would enjoy watching the big game, all TV providers have agreed not to air the Super Bowl.