Dr. Fauci Suggests LeBron Riot To Help Reverse His COVID Diagnosis

Dr. Fauci Suggests LeBron Riot To Help Reverse His COVID Diagnosis

Famed basketball dribbler and distinguished high school graduate, LeBron James has tested positive for the little-known illness called “Coronavirus.”

Naturally, the Los Angeles Lakers brought in Dr. Fauci—a man who’s famous for being skittish about being in the spotlight.

“LeBron, I think perhaps, potentially you’ve—in certain circumstances, heard of me.  My name is Anthony Fauci, but you can call me THE SCIENCE™,” the good doctor said to the basketball star.  “I’ve been looking over your chart, and I believe you’re woefully deficient in the one physical activity that’s proven to prevent the spread of COVID.  I am, of course, referring to rioting and looting.”

Uneasy with this advice, LeBron then did what came naturally to him.  He flopped uncontrollably in his chair.

“Oh, good.  Based on these wild convulsions, I see you’ve been triple vaxed.  Excellent,” Fauci said. 

Fauci then assured LeBron he has always looked out for “his people” and touted his African AIDS work.  A program based on the doctor’s theory that the AIDS virus can be conquered via “love” and encouraged everyone to engage in rampant intercourse.   

Update:  LeBron is feeling much better after ransacking a Beverly Hills Louis Vuitton store.  

[@DistefaD contributed to this article. Follow him on Twitter!]

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