BURBANK, CA–In a bizarre appearance on last night’s Jeopardy, Adam Schiff incorrectly answered, “What is the Russians’ to every single question.
To kick things off, Schiff chose the category ‘Rhymes With Toast’ for $200. The answer was, ‘Spooky dead people,’ and the congressman confidently said, “What is the Russians!”
When he was told he was incorrect he snapped back, “Fine. What is the Kremlin—whatever.”
Unlike a CNN host, Aaron Rodgers pushed back on Adam Schiff’s claim that a wandering spirit of the afterlife was “the Russians”.
“Oh, I see what’s going on here,” Schiff said squinting his beady eyes at the host. “You’re just like Tucker Carlson. A Russian spy. I get it.”
As the show moved on, the next five correct answers were:
- Three-hole punch
- Mike Lindel
- Winnie The Pooh
- Eggshell White
- Jerry Nadler’s belt
However, the congressman insisted the answer to all of them was, “What is the Russians”.
An increasingly annoyed Schiff was asked repeatedly to stop screaming, “I know you’ve rigged this game show, Trump! Show yourself!”
Despite his frustrating night, Schiff was beaming with confidence when he heard the question for Final Jeopardy. He quickly jotted down his answer and risked all zero of his dollars.
“Ok, contestants. The clue was, ‘This golden man’s hair waves like the wheat fields of Iowa. He defeated the great beast in 2016 and has teeth so white, they can calm a rabid panther.” Rodgers said before reviewing their answers.
“Mr. Schiff, I think I have an idea what you—yep. That’s what I thought. You wrote down ‘what is the Russians’ and that is wildly incorrect, as always,” an annoyed Rodgers said.
Now softly weeping into his hands, Adam Schiff muttered. “It was the Russians. Everything was the Russians.”
Give Us Story Ideas
