South Florida– Onlookers near Ben Shapiro couldn’t help but notice the podcast host’s white privilege was completely exposed all Saturday afternoon.
“I know being controversial is ‘his thing,’ but this was just horrifying,” a concerned Democrat mother of three said. “But it was just all hanging out. Totally brazen. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Most of the complaints occurred in the Home Depot near Shapiro’s Florida home. Reportedly, Ben was causing a scene in the lumber department as he loudly lamented the 300% increase in cost.
“Seriously, gang? $34 for this magnificent, six-foot pressure-treated 4×4? Biden’s doing just a fantastic job here–it’s astonishing really,” he said not knowing his white privilege was making leftists uncomfortable. “Even I can’t afford this, and my wife’s a doctor!”
Upon returning to Nashville, Shapiro was confronted by god-king, Jeremy Boreing who showed him security footage from inside the Home Depot.
“Look at this,” Boreing said, pointing to the screen. “It’s bad enough you’re flashing everyone with your whiteness, but did you have to challenge that Biden voter to a lightsaber fight with a long, fluorescent tube?”
The footage shocked Shapiro, and he was embarrassed. “I will not apologize for being white,” Ben said. “But I can see how breaking the tube lights over the heads of my political enemies is unbecoming and frankly, uncalled for. For my misconduct, I shall don sackcloth and ashes until our next episode of Backstage.”
In related news, it’s been learned that Michael Knowles has been so unabashedly white that all five branches of Biden’s military have been reassigned to monitor him around the clock.
Update: Make that six. Space Force is now monitoring Knowles too.
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