After video of Chris Cuomo’s combative exchange with a heckler surfaced, the CNN network wasted no time in educating American citizens on what conduct will be tolerated.
On Wednesday afternoon, CNN released a brief and direct memo intended for all Americans. Titled ‘We’re smart and we want respect’ the memo explicitly instructs everyone to agree with the network’s opinions on all topics and values.
The highlight of the document is when Jeff Zucker explains, “…should CNN learn of any American who disagrees with the expressed viewpoint of our network, we will alert the world that is exactly like screaming the N-word.”
While the memo is raising some eyebrows, CNN officials are hopeful that threatening all detractors of saying the N-word will surly bring about a type of utopia where all the nation’s disagreements are vanquished.
“Trust us,” Zucker said with a smirk. “Calling a republican a racist is the tried and true way of us getting our way with basically any topic.” When a follow-up question was asked about Trump’s seemingly unfazed demeanor after being called a racist, Zucker reflexively crushed the plastic cup he was holding splattering his coffee everywhere.