It was a tearjerker on the White House lawn Monday as President Trump announced the pardon of the infamous thief and kidnapper known as Prison Mike.
“Get up here, Mike!” Trump yelled to the criminal currently on parole. “Ya know, a lot of people tell me I should never forgive you for kidnapping Barron,” the President said putting his arm around him. “But I’m in a good mood today! Consider yourself pardoned!” Trump exclaimed.
“I’m Prison Mike!” the criminal yelled grabbing the microphone startling the press.
“Prison Mike?” ABC’s, John Karl began. “What’s the very, very worst thing about prison?”
The convict paused for a moment appearing to become emotional. “Being away from nice people like this man,” Mike said grabbing Trump’s arm.
“You guys are always complaining about this man but ya know what? This place is freakin’ awesome and ya boss is nice!” he yelled to the press. “You gotta treat him better!”
“Uuuh, he’s not our boss,” Karl muttered.
“You gotta good life,” Prison Mike said tearfully. “You’ve gotta good life.”
Later, Prison Mike shared the puzzling fact that despite his sentencing and time served, the police never actually caught him for his crimes. Trump quickly instructed him to move along before he changes his mind.
“Tanks!” Prison Mike shouted back.