It seems our society continues to fail our most honorable heroes. In a recent press conference, the teachers unions reminded Americans they have yet to receive their complimentary BMW 7 Series 750i.
“I know we’d all feel much safer once we get that car,” a representative said. “Unlike the private sector, some teachers are forced to buy their own vehicles. Not providing transportation is neither moral nor classy. Can you believe that horse [explicit]? And who knows, that car might even get us closer to teaching again. But only if we get the mocha wooden dash and ventilated seats!”
Naturally, Joe Biden immediately green-lit the demand.
“Who? Waahhh? Cars? Oh, yeah—God love ya!” Biden said in one of his more eloquent speeches.
Dr. Fauci also agreed that gifting teachers luxury cars was the scientifically prudent step.
“The science is clear; these teachers will punch me square in my face if they’re not awarded BMWs. Thus it’s a health hazard to not deliver these cars,” the Dr. said. “In fact, we’re at the point where we should consider doubling the cars. To be ultra-safe.”
Update: Parents seem perplexed and angry about the latest teachers unions’ demands. But it was later determined they were white, thus invalidating their concerns.