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REPORT: Tyrannical Government To Update National Symbol From Bald Eagle To Tyrannosaurus Rex

REPORT:  Tyrannical Government To Update National Symbol From Bald Eagle To Tyrannosaurus Rex

As the nation’s governors have been stomping all over individual rights and the Constitution in general, many within the government believe it is time to abandon the bald eagle as our national symbol.  Naturally, the Tyrannosaurus rex will be the logical replacement.

“To me, the bald eagle represents freedom.  Flying as high as your dreams can take you.  Absolutely not.  Not anymore,” Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot said, leaving a hair salon.  “In this new America, the only thing I want flying are Chinese-made drones, peaking into backyards and alleyways, making sure no one gets out of their cages!”

Americans have mixed feelings about the T-Rex being their new national symbol.  A citizen in Georgia said the dinosaur sends the “wrong message” and signifies a more aggressive state.  Yet in Los Angeles, a non-citizen screamed, “HELL YEAH!  The people need to recognize who’s in charge—and it’s the most vicious, mindless, bloodthirsty beast to have ever lived—the United States Government!”   

Much like the actual Tyrannosaurus, who cannot see you if you don’t move, business owners are trying to stay hidden from the view of the state for fear of being chased down and devoured.