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Regular Chicago Murderers Arrested For Distracting From Media Narrative

Regular Chicago Murderers Arrested For Distracting From Media Narrative

In a despicable act of brazen insubordination, Chicago murderers murdered too much and were arrested for distracting from the media narrative.

“I think what hurts the most is the disrespect,” Chicago Mayor, Lori Lightfoot said in a statement.  “When I think about the poor, defenseless media elites who spent the time to carefully craft our narrative—only to see their work get diminished by a silly distraction like 68 people killed before breakfast?  It’s heartbreaking.”

The murderers are also facing a backlash with the Democrat voters.  98% of liberals believe we should be completely focused on the race riots until they’re told to go back to COVID-19.  2% of Democrats were too busy murdering people in Chicago to complete the survey.

“I’m sorry! I haven’t been watching the news lately. I thought you guys were still doing the lockdown thing!” one of the killers explained to the judge with tears of shame running down his face.  “I never meant to hurt anyone except those 13 people!” 

Before she abolished her police department, Mayor Lightfoot had demanded these murderers be caught and charged with first-degree narrative disruption, the most serious felony in Illinois.  Luckily, all violent criminals had been released due to COVID-19, so these narrative disruptors will have plenty of elbowroom inside the prison.