PORTLAND, OR – The owner of Rip City Chop Shop, a famous sex reassignment clinic in Beaverton, is being sued for only offering two genders.
The lawsuit called Doctor Hackabunch’s practice a ‘worse-than-Hitler act of outrageous bigotry’ and is seeking a modest sum of just over 14 billion dollars.
“I’m sitting in the lobby, and the options on the wall say I can choose from either male or female genitalia. I thought I was at a Chick-fil-a, the menu was so insensitive,” said public school teacher Firefly McGroomy. “What is this, 2021?”
Portland-area lawyers believe the case against Dr. Hackabunch is a slamdunk.
“He’s not creating the very popular Genderfluid genitalia, which is just stapling a water balloon to the crotch, I believe. He’s not creating Two-Spirit, which is welding an authentic unicorn horn where the penis would be. So yeah, I think you’d have to be a ridiculous person to not see he’s in real legal trouble,” a legal expert said.
Dr. Hackabunch is sounding off about the lawsuit.
“Let me get this straight my life is being destroyed because I couldn’t help a Tamasexual? I tried to surgically attach a Tamagotchi game down there, but it kept falling off!” he screamed.
Update: The doctor has now been arrested for saying ‘straight.’
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