It was a disappointing day for the Bidens after all major corporations announced they would cease business with anyone associated with the Ku Klux Klan. As no one knows, Biden gave the eulogy of the late Senator Robert Byrd, a former Klan leader. After Byrd excelled as a recruiter over at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car, the Klan nabbed him to fill their ranks with solid Democrats. Biden was naturally his top candidate and the two became close friends.
Biden first learned of his universal ban upon being wheeled into a DC-area Target.
“Sir, have you been experiencing any fever or coughing in the last 24 hours?” the greeter asked him.
“Waaa? Whose beaver? Oh. No,” He replied.
“And you’ve definitely not personally been involved with the KKK, have you?” she inquired.
“You mean the Klan, sweetheart? Absolutely. Those were the days,” he informed the greeter. “Now step aside, darling. I can smell those Fig Newtons from here. I wouldn’t stay in the way of this nose for long.”
The confused Target employee then apprehensively pressed the red security button labeled ‘Donald Trump’s Here!’ Seconds later two hundred members of the National Guard tackled Biden, assuming it was Trump in disguise.
Update: After most of the major corporations learned that the KKK was all Democrats, they installed large signs reading: “Welcome, Klansmen!”