WASHINGTON, D.C.–A little-known and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has given the administration a brilliant solution for their overcrowded migrant situation.
“You see this big, beautiful area down here? A lotta people are saying this is the perfect place for Mexicans,” he said, pointing to the country just below the United States of America. “Call up the President of Mexico and tell him, ‘Great news! We’re sending our best and brightest!’”
The plan outlined would immediately end the overflow problem, restore order along the border, and usher in a wave of positive press. But Kamala Harris was excited by a different angle.
“This blue country down here is not America. America bad!” she grunted before enthusiastically signing off on the idea.
Biden sat and stared at the presentation in deep thought. He stood up and tapped on the poster board. Finally, in a very serious tone, he said, “I don’t care for this episode of Sesame Street.”
Update: Upon implementing the plan, the New York Times gave Biden their usual glowing treatment by running with the headline: “Stable Genius Solves Border Crisis.”
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