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Portland 2nd Grade Teacher Reassigns All Students’ Genders Duck Duck Goose-Style

Portland 2nd Grade Teacher Reassigns All Students’ Genders Duck Duck Goose-Style

On Thursday Natasha Dudley, of Portland’s Hillside Elementary School, decided to reassign the gender of all her students. And while that is hardly news in the Rose City, progressives nationwide are admiring the method Natasha used.

The gender reassignment was done duck duck goose-style. This means Natasha (Ze/Zir) organized the children in a circle and while walking around the group, tapped each of their heads while rattling off a different gender.

“Cisgender… Bisexual… Non-Binary,” Natasha said in a slow, deliberate tone. As tension built, she eventually gave a child the most horrid and repugnant gender of them all.

“BOY!” she finally yelled tapping a child’s head.

Immediately, the boy jumped up and began aggressively chasing the teacher.

“CALL THE POLICE!” Natasha screamed, fumbling for her mace while running around the circle from the boy. “IT’S HAPPENING! I KNEW IT!”

After the police were called, the boy was hog-tied and charged with assault. However, the student’s mother insisted her child, Jessica, was a girl. This blatant misgendering also resulted in the mother being arrested.

Update: The whole situation was so traumatizing, Hillside Elementary will be having half-days for the remainder of the school year.