In what appears to be a desperate attempt to take the spotlight off him, Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau demanded all brown and back bears be scrubbed so as to be sure they aren’t secretly Polar Bears in blackface.
“I’m on record of hating blackface more than anyone,” Trudeau said during a press conference. “And I forgot I did it dozens of times. So no, Polar Bears are not above suspicion with this.”
While Operation Bigot Bear or OBB, is less than only a day old, Canadian officials have already bathed and blow-dried three adult brown bears.
“We cleaned these three bears fully prepared to learn just how racist nature is but so far we’ve only learned that these bears absolutely love being scrubbed like this. They think this is some joke,” Director of OBB told us. “They’re truly sick animals.”
Despite nine officials being mauled to death, flash polling reveals a 52% of Canadians approve of the policy.
“When I’ve finished ridding Canada of all the racists Polar Bears, the world will be a better place for all mankind,” Trudeau said before dramatically correcting himself. “No. Make that peoplekind.”