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Disney+ Updates Classic Films To Reflect Proper Mask Use

Disney+ Updates Classic Films To Reflect Proper Mask Use

Millions of mothers are spending hours a day trying to convince their children to wear a mask.  However, all that work is being erased once their kids flip on Disney+.  In the nearly 800 hours of footage on the popular streaming app, only movies containing mummies have displayed proper mask use thus far.

“That’s not good enough.  How many people have to die before Bambi gets it?!” a furious, Los Angeles mother asked.  “‘Thumper isn’t wearing a mask, so neither will I,’ my kids tell me.”

Vowing to make it right, The Disney Company has spent the last few weeks digitally adding masks to all of your favorite characters.   Also, irresponsible scenes have been heavily edited.  For example, the classic Lady and the Tramp Italian dinner scene has been altered to accommodate social distancing with an 84-inch string of spaghetti. 

“The dogs never end up doing that kiss, but we made them give each other a sweet look from across the street,” a Disney spokesman said.  “But then we realized Tramp was way too aggressive and we had a serious #metoo problem on our hands, so we replaced that whole scene with one of Dr. Fauci’s press briefing.”

Update:  As some feared, many of the Disney editors got carried away and added MAGA hats onto all the villains.