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Trump Returns To Social Media With New 'Cancel Proof' Platform

Trump Returns To Social Media With New 'Cancel Proof' Platform

Huge news in the social network world as Donald Trump has unveiled ‘MAGA Phone’, a new phone that allows conservatives to finally get their voices heard.  The genius of the new handheld device is that it’s completely detached from the whiny Karens over at big tech.

“My new phone will put the iPhone to shame,” Trump yelled into the MAGA Phone.  “Everyone’s going to love my device way more because it’s easier and way louder.  Here, let me show you how to request a friend.” 

Trump scanned the press conference and eventually placed the device a few inches from a reporter’s ear.

“WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?” he screamed. 

The reporter ran away and Trump examined his MAGA Phone. 

“We’re still working out the bugs, but that’s ok, people are looking into it.  She’s just lucky I didn’t start trending.”

Twitter and Facebook are feeling the heat from the new competition and they’re asking the media to help squash the device.  

“This is so dangerous,” Jack Dorsey told CNN. “China keeps calling me demanding to know what they’re saying.  They’re just running around, saying whatever they want.  Is this even America?”

Update:  Mark Zuckerberg is demanding conservatives stop turning on the siren and chanting ‘nerd alert’ every time he leaves the house.

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