In what’s being considered a shrewd last-minute hire, the Biden administration nabbed the guy who yanked all the wires out during Forest Gump’s famous Washington Monument speech.
“We think Joe’s probably got all the gaffes out of his system, but we feel this guy should still get fistfuls of wires and go-to-town every time the former VP speaks,” an official said. “We’re willing to pay him anything.”
Sure enough, the new hire came in handy when Joe Biden found himself going off teleprompter at his inauguration. He immediately wandered into the following sentence:
“…and speaking about North Korea, when I was a young whippersnapper growing up in Scranton, the homosexuals used to tell me that my leg hair was—“
But no one ever heard what the homosexuals thought of young Biden’s leg hair as sparks flew around the soundboard and the audio was killed.
Several minutes later, once Biden officials believed Joe had finished getting some of the more graphic stories and racial slurs out of his system, they allowed all the wires to be reconnected.
“And that’s all I have to say about that,” the networks clearly heard as Biden shuffled off stage.