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Pelosi to Briefly Allow Prayer Back in Schools Because She is So Saddened and Heartbroken to Impeach

Pelosi to Briefly Allow Prayer Back in Schools Because She is So Saddened and Heartbroken to Impeach

An absolutely distraught and devastated Pelosi will temporarily allow prayer back into public schools as she reluctantly impeaches President Trump.

“WHY!!??!?!?” the Speaker screamed as she threw up her arms and crumbled to the floor, Wednesday morning. “This day is so solemn I cannot believe it! I’ve been praying so much to… to… umm, to…”

“GOD!” one of her staffers needed to yell out.

“YES—that’s the one! God! I’ve been praying so much to him or her! And I’m so broken up about casting a stain on Donald’s legacy that I need all the help I can get. All the nation’s children shall now be allowed to pray in their school!”

The media and fellow democrats were horrified at this. “We spent years kicking God out of schools, we can’t give this up, Nancy!” a CNN reporter shrieked.

“Ok, you know what? How about this,” Pelosi clarified. “Let’s allow all the nation’s children to pray, but have them pray to me. I’ll then pass them on to… LINE!”

“God,” the staffer quietly reminded.

Update: Nancy absorbed the children’s prayers but did not pass them on.