Fictional President Joe Biden entered the lion’s den this week when he appeared on Chris Wallace’s show. Wallace, who once applied sunscreen to Obama’s back so evenly it made Barack cry, didn’t hold back.
“You know what, President Biden? Here at Fox, our ratings are low and people are demanding accountability more than ever. So I’m just going to hit you with the tough questions,” Wallace warned.
“Did it hurt, sir?” he asked in a soft tone. “Oh, don’t give me that blank stare, Joe Joe. When you fell from heaven–did it hurt?”
Biden continued to give a far-off look until someone clearly hit him over the head with a broom.
“OH! Waaaaaa? Oh, boy. God bless me,” Joe said scrambling. “I’ll answer your question this way; You gotta pluck all the feathers before boiling. That way you can unhook the bra before Colonel Sanders walks in.”
Wallace’s eyes darted around before getting the interview back on track.
“You know, I think your inauguration speech was the best I’ve ever heard. Strike that, the best I’ve ever…had,” Wallace said winking to the camera. “By comparison, you made John Kennedy sound like Pee-wee Herman on fentanyl. Question: Do you wish you were here in the studio with me as much as I do, sir?”
For some reason, Joe was only able to make clucking sounds and the interview was cut short.
Update: KFC has asked Joe Biden not to come within 100 yards of their restaurants.