Topps Trading Card Company will no longer feature pro-athletes and will now exclusively feature Democrats. “It’s simple. Kids just have new heroes in their lives,” Topps COO Cesar Maciel told The Glorious American. “Yesterday’s Mickey Mantle is today’s Corey Booker. And I think that this change will be huge for us. Just the other day I saw my son and his friends rip into a pack and I heard “HOLY CRAP! A Harry Reid Freshman Senator card?!”
Like the athletes, the Democrat trading cards will have all the key stats on the back. Proposed tax rate for the rich, years they believe the earth has left due to climate change and amount of times they’ve been a guest on Jimmy Kimmel are popular numbers being showcased.
Currently, the most sought-after Democrat trading card is a limited edition autographed John McCain.