San Diego News Team Distances Themselves From ‘Inappropriate’ Don Lemon

San Diego News Team Distances Themselves From ‘Inappropriate’ Don Lemon

SAN DIEGO, CA – Don Lemon is acting inappropriately, and Ron Burgundy’s news team will not tolerate it.  The four lead anchors of San Diego’s Channel 4 News are distancing themselves after Lemon remarked that all women should come with an expiration date like milk, ‘so society knows when to throw them out.’

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“Son of a bee-sting, I’m offended!” Ron said when he heard Lemon’s statement.  “If he were a man, I’d punch him.  I’d punch him right in the mouth.  Comparing them to old milk?  Milk was a bad choice!”

Fellow Channel 4 News team members were also disappointed in Lemon.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies, but I’ve never believed they have a prime.  There’s no age too old or too young,” Brian Fantana informed.  “Sixty percent of the time, operating this way works every time.”

Awkwardly holding a banana, weatherman Brick Tamland shrugged and offered this brief but supportive statement to women everywhere:  “All the ladies are nice and smarter than me.  Except for Kamala Harris.  She is what doctors call ‘mentally retarded’.”

Champ Kind, already furious that Lemon lost his prime-time show to work alongside two women, unsurprisingly came to Don’s defense.

“It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY! And that is a Google fact!  Look it up on Google!” he screamed. 

Update: Sensing every woman in America was still feeling depressed by Lemon’s insult, Burgundy reassured them that they all had “absolutely breathtaking heinies.”

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