Atlantic Records is absolutely regretting their decision to sign Jeb Bush to a $100 million contract to record a country music album.
Like many in Washington around 2015, the record label believed the former Florida Governor had an excellent chance to nab the 2016 presidency.
“Most Americans loved how Ronald Reagan was a former movie actor,” Atlantic CEO, Craig Kallman said. “We figured it would be great business to sign a guy who would go on to be President.”
Unfortunately for the record label, not only did Jeb Bush not come close to the White House, his record “Please Clap” has only sold 14 copies. A whopping 149,999,986 sales shy of the goal.
“Please buy,” a defeated Jeb quietly told The Glorious American while staring off into space.
Before his crushing defeat, a clearly conflicted Jeb wrote the following songs for “Please Clap”: