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Republicans Dominate Impeachment Hearings After Yielding All Their Time to The Rush Limbaugh Show

Republicans Dominate Impeachment Hearings After Yielding All Their Time to The Rush Limbaugh Show

On Thursday, House Republicans dominated the impeachment hearings after making the decision to pool all their time together and yield it to America’s Anchorman.

When it came time for Republicans to cross-examine Fiona Hill, Rep. Devin Nunes quickly reached under his seat, grabbed a portable radio and set it on the table.

“Yes. We’re right on time,” Nunes whispered as he spun the dial to the EIB Network.

A microphone was held to the radio and soon the booming voice of Rush Limbaugh was flooding the chamber.

“It’s curious how all these national security specialists know about ALL of the fictional stories of Donald Trump, but somehow have never heard anything about Plugs funneling millions to his family. But ya know, I just looked at the clock. Be right back, folks.”

Nunes quickly lowered the volume and glared at Fiona Hill. “Well?” he eventually asked.

Before Hill could answer, an enraged Adam Schiff demanded for Rush’s question to be withdrawn and for the station to be changed to NPR.

As per usual, no one listened to Schiff and the day’s witnesses were thrashed by Limbaugh’s questions for hours.

“I’m sorry!” Fiona ultimately screamed with tears streaming down her face. “I made this all up because the pencil neck man said he’d get me a contributorship job on MSNBC if I lied—I made it all up! Now, will you please turn this off!”

Update: While Rush dismantled the Democrats’ case against Trump before the third hour, Republicans are asking for a dumbed-down version of Limbaugh’s comments be made available for the hundreds of lawmakers who hail from Rio Linda.