‘Keep It Up, And I’ll Deport Aladdin,’ DeSantis Tells Disney

‘Keep It Up, And I’ll Deport Aladdin,’ DeSantis Tells Disney

ORLANDO, FL– If Disney keeps mouthing off, Ron DeSantis will move to deport Aladdin, the governor said Tuesday. 

“Last summer, I grabbed Disney’s precious tax exemptions like Arthur grabbed the sword in the stone, and I whipped that baby away,” DeSantis told the press. “And if Disney says any more stupid crap, we’ll march right over to the magic kingdom, hog-tie Aladdin, and put him on the next flight back to Agrabah. And while I’m there, I’m going to need to see a picture of Princess Jasmine’s mom. She looks nothing like her father. Something’s off there.” 

He also addressed his critics, who accused him of enjoying punishing his political enemies. 

“Well, I am feeling a little like the priest from the Little Mermaid now that you mention it,” DeSantis said. “But we won’t stop. We’re prepared to put down all 101 Dalmatians, issue DUIs to Mr. Toad, and fillet Nemo.” 

When a reporter asked what he planned to do with Dumbo, DeSantis said he wouldn’t harm Vice President Harris.

Give Us Story Ideas

Real News Happening Now: