In a move many were predicting, a California judge has granted Britney Spears’ father, Jamie Spears, conservatorship over Joe Biden.
Biden, who recently shaved his head and began acting more insane than usual, was livid when he heard the announcement.
“What!? Does this mean I can’t get pregnant?” He yelled shaking his fist at the TV. Then Biden leaned towards his staff and did that super creepy loud whisper at them.
“Guess what? That man cannot conserve my ship, ok? He’s going to tell me who and what I can sniff? Come on, folks. I take orders from one man, and his name is Corn Pop.”
Late Wednesday afternoon Britney Spears and Joe Biden met to discuss their situation.
“At heart, I’m just a country girl, ya know? I worship in church on Sunday, but shake my booty in fishnet tights on Saturday,” Joe Biden told a very uncomfortable Britney in the meeting.
Following their talk, Spears voiced support for her father controlling every aspect of Joe Biden‘s life.
Update: Details of the conservatorship have leaked. Hunter Biden has been chained to a basement radiator and despite his repeated requests, an IUD was not installed.