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Jesse Watters And Dana Perino Split Up

Jesse Watters And Dana Perino Split Up

It looks like Fox News power couple, Dana Perino And Jesse Watters, didn’t get the happily-ever-after we were all hoping for.  Their love story began when Waters joined The Five in 2017.  It was a rocky start for the pair as viewers regularly witnessed him annoy Perino.  But despite every sigh of disapproval and rolling of her eyes, it was clear:  Jesse Watters was the tall, dark, bad boy that was missing in Dana’s humdrum life.   

Once the two began their passionate love affair, conservatives couldn’t get enough of ‘Wattereino’.  And all viewers of The Five remember exactly where they were when the FCC fined the lovebirds $30,000 for a rather graphic, on-air make out session.

The break-up was shocking enough, but it was even more surprising that Dana used her ‘one more thing’ to inform Jesse it was over. 

“Well, as my mom and sister know, I’ve grown tired of Jesse and we’re through,” Perino said as a montage of the pair was shown.

Watters, who was both blindsided and devastated, began to cry.  “Is there another guy, Dana?” he then yelled angrily, “Is it Beckel?!”

Unable to complete his ‘one more thing’, Watters ceded his portion to Juan who used his extra time to explain how he believes Russia is most likely behind his faulty garbage disposal. 

Update:  As expected, Watters, Perino, and Gutfeld have entered into a vicious love triangle.  Per FNC policy, Steve Doocy will resolve the dispute.