Many Hollywood agencies have deployed special technology to determine exactly which celebrities thought Ricky Gervais’ monologue was funny. Sources are telling The Glorious American that whoever is seen laughing or smiling at the routine will be dismissed from any current acting gig and will be blackballed immediately.
Already we can report that Jennifer Aniston can clearly be seen giving an approving smile during the monologue. She has been informed her career is now over. Conversely, Tom Hanks can be seen either breaking wind or recoiling at Gervais’ remarks. Either way, Hanks will be allowed to remain an actor.
All Hollywood production will be suspended until after the software can comb through the entire audience and justice can be served.