Elizabeth Warren has hired Scranton warehouse manager Darryl Philbin to teach her black people phrases The Glorious American has learned.
According to campaign officials, internal polling shows African Americans only list scuba diving as more terrifying than a Warren presidency.
Darryl Philbin did not make himself available for comment but he did yell, “Remember to use those black man phrases I taught you!” to Warren as she walked on stage to speak to predominantly black audience in Boston.
“Dinkin flicka my brothers and sisters of Boston!” Warren yelled. “When I get to Washington, I’ll give the GOP more fluffy fingers than they can handle!”
While the crowd seemed confused throughout the speech, she did see the audience perk up as she concluded with a loud “Will you help me defeat this horrible president? Pippity poppity, give me that zoppity!”