In the place of Saturday’s daily White House task force briefing, CNN decided to air the Seinfeld classic ‘I was in the pool’ episode.
“What’s going on in those briefings are not newsworthy,” Anderson Cooper explained. “All that’s happening is like… the public is getting a whole bunch of updates about the globe-altering events affecting every facet of your life,” Cooper said shaking his head. “That’s not what the CNN viewer wants. Nor should they.”
After the episode, all the network hosts began covering George Costanza’s famous incident as if it were breaking news.
“Is shrinkage the next global pandemic?” Brian Seltzer asked the panel.
“You can never be sure, but I think it’s a real possibility,” Chris Cuomo replied. “But if you’re asking if I think we should close down the whole nation in the off chance shrinkage becomes a problem? Yes. I think we absolutely should.”
The segments appeared to go off the rails when both Don Lemon and Anderson Cooper began doing the ‘ugly cry’ as they screamed things like “WE’VE GOTTA FIND THE VACCINE FOR SHRINKAGE!” and “EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU–SHELTER IN PLACE NOW!”
Because the CNN hosts have historically struggled with gender differences, they warned their viewers that ‘women are just as—if not more at risk for contracting shrinkage.’