Critics of John Kasich claim he’s burned so many bridges he will never find work again. Well, apparently Blockbuster Video didn’t get that message. The great company, who assures everyone they’re doing fine, offered the former Ohio governor over $14 to say a few words on their behalf.
“I get to keep fourteen of your dollars if I say nice stuff about you?” a giddy Kasich asked with his boyish charm. “Yes! Oh, boy! That’ll be swell,” he said signing the contract.
Soon, Kasich was mic’d up and speaking remotely to the 2020 Home Entertainment Expo.
“Ya know, I’ve been a fan of Blockbuster my whole life,” he said fumbling with a thread of wheat in his hands. “In fact, in 1938 my father was a mailman who would carry Blockbuster videotapes to each house. So, I might not know what streaming is or what fiber optics are or how babies are made, but I know this, Blockbuster Video will never fade and they will never fail. In fact, I haven’t seen a stronger brand since the modern Democratic Party.”
Update: Blockbuster was unable to pay Kasich his fee.