BOCA RATON, FL — Per the Geneva Convention, mattress salesman Ben Shapiro is now eligible to say the n-word after his hit rap song ‘FACTS’ topped #1 in the charts.
“It appears my trifling ass has done it,” Shapiro told his audience while slowly turning his Yamaka backward. “My emergence into the rap game has earned me something far more prestigious than my Harvard degree. Starting today, I will now litter The Daily Wire airwaves with none other than the N-word. And I will do so with the type of carefree nature we see from my people as they carry armfuls of Adidas tracksuits to their Nissans.”
By the end of the podcast, Ben Shapiro had set the land-speed record for most N-words spoken in a single hour, narrowly beating Joe Biden’s famous 2020 hot mic incident while he campaigned in Georgia.
Sadly for Shapiro, his newfound freedom with the word proved to be a struggle, and he often used it in perplexing contexts.
For example, his first live read mentioned anyone surfing the web without the protections of ExpressVPN was leaving themselves ‘as exposed as a n—– in a Fort Lauderdale sunset.’
At the 1:02 mark, he was quoted as saying, “The new tax bill the House passed is a real n—-.”
Shapiro then confused listeners when he began to cry and expressed his deep thankfulness to ‘all his n——‘ but moments later furiously explained that co-host Michael Knowles is ‘nothing but a detestable n—–!’
Update: Candace Owens is still not allowed to say it.
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