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Obama Authors 'The Art Of Giving $150 Billion To Terrorists'

Obama Authors 'The Art Of Giving $150 Billion To Terrorists'

Clearly feeling insecure about Donald Trump’s accomplishments in the business world, Barack Obama determined he needed another memoir that would paper over his most glaring area of incompetence.

So Obama thought long and hard about his most cunning and crafty business deal. Soon ‘The Art of Giving $150 Billion to Terrorists’ was written and will hit shelves later this week.

Throughout the book, Obama goes into detail about how particular he was about the type of pallet his administration would use to deliver cash to the bloodthirsty terrorists.

“A less experienced businessman would have gone with pine,” Obama writes in a chapter four excerpt. “We considered walnut, but ultimately, Valerie Jarrett and I went with a nice, cherry wood.”

Media members who have previewed the book are calling it Obama’s signature masterpiece.

Meet The Press host Chuck Todd interviewed the former President and noted, “The brilliance of your skillful negotiation is that you knew juuuuust where that sweet spot was. $160 billion was too much, but $145 was too low.”

“What? No, I just told them they could have as much cash as humanly possi—oh! I mean, yeah,” Barrack replied. “The sweet spot, alright. Years of honing brilliant businessman skills. That’s for sure.”