Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era’ Retail Price In Record-Breaking Sale

Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era’ Retail Price In Record-Breaking Sale

MEDFORD, OR – Mattress shoppers at Southern Oregon’s Quality Sleep miss the low prices they enjoyed during the Donald Trump presidency.

So owners Dale and Grant brought them back.

“I remember in 2019 we had lines. And not the Hunter Biden kind, I’m talking about lines out the door,” Dale said. “But now, under Biden, a pillow costs as much as a mattress for [explicit] sake. Because this old pervert is wrecking everything so badly, we needed to give our customers some relief. And not the Hunter Biden kind, I’m talking about relief at the register.”

So, using promo code ‘FJB’, Quality Sleep shoppers paid for mattresses what they cost during the Trump presidency.

“We did more business than a flock of Russian prostitutes at the DNC!” Grant reported. “Let’s see. We sold 44 sets at $899 each. And we paid $903 wholesale for them. So… we only lost $176! Our best weekend of the Biden presidency yet!”

Update: Furious with the lack of business, rival mattress store, Socialist Sleep has unveiled the “Free Barbra Box Spring” sales event.


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