Say what you will about liberals, but they sure do know their way around guns and cars.
So after Joe Biden told Americans they will save .16 cents on their 4th of July meal (in red states), Democrats everywhere began filling their gas tanks with slightly more affordable mustard.
“Did you see the tweet from the White House, Doug?” yelled a Biden voter to his Republican neighbor while emptying the twenty-third bottle of French’s Classic Yellow into his car’s tank. “I thought you said Biden wouldn’t be good for energy or the economy. Well, mustard is 0.003% cheaper this year! And Rachel Maddow said it’s a cleaner and more natural source of energy! I bet you wish you could re-do your 2020 vote, right?”
Doug questioned the ‘cleaner’ claim while pointing to the small yellow river of mustard flowing down the street. Also, he strongly encouraged his Democrat neighbor to never start that car.
“Oh, here we go. I should have known. Doug, the ridiculous conspiracy theorist!” the Biden voter replied covered in mustard. “I bet you also believe that the government paying people six figures to stay home is keeping the unemployment rate high!”
The car packed with mustard eventually exploded and a fifty-foot mushroom cloud could be seen for miles.
Doug ran over to help and saw his neighbor was badly wounded and filled with deep remorse.
“I told you not to fill your damn car with freaking mustard!” Doug screamed pulling him from the wreckage.
“No. It’s not that,” the liberal whispered. “I’m worried that people might think the explosion was fireworks and that I’m patriotic.”
On a related note, the Biden administration has passed a law mandating all car engines must run exclusively on condiments by 2030.