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Bernie On Climate Risk: 'Coin-Operated Horsey Rides To Become Primary Source Of Transportation'

Bernie On Climate Risk: 'Coin-Operated Horsey Rides To Become Primary Source Of Transportation'

It was Bernie Sanders who made the headlines from CNN’s climate town hall. On Wednesday, Sanders explained that once his climate policies are fully enacted, the dominant source of transportation would be the coin-operated horsey ride.

“I think it’s very simple,” Sanders began while flapping his hands in the air. “When you look at how clean, efficient and frankly fun these horsey rides are, I think they’re clearly the answer.”

When Anderson Cooper questioned the Senator about how citizens will get from point A to point B using the stationary rides, Bernie gasped and yelled, “Oh, I see, Anderson! This was supposed to be a friendly discussion on climate change and you come loaded with RIGHT-WING TALKING POINTS?!” Cooper fell to his knees, began weeping and begged for forgiveness.

After Cooper collected himself, Bernie explained how efficient horsey rides are at getting around town. “Just the other day, after I finished some grocery shopping I hopped on a horsey. Had the time of my life. And would you believe it, when I got off, I was merely feet away from a haircut place. I don’t know about you but that’s a full day right there. What else could an American want?”

That line was delivered with such passion it was briefly met with applause. However, the clapping sharply ended when Bernie added, “Also, the breadlines are probably going to be a [explicit] so these rides will at least give you something to do in front of grocery stores.”

UPDATE: Fact checkers noted that Senator Sanders did not get a haircut the day he referenced or any other day.