AKRON, OH–Despite purchasing over a dozen homes this year, the good folks running Black Lives Matter Inc. still find themselves flush with too much cash. And now, with more racial tension hitting the streets, another windfall of cash is hitting their bank accounts. Naturally, real estate agents everywhere are worried they might be slammed with too much business.
“When the media hypes a race war, we sell those guys so many damn houses. It’s exhausting. I’ve got kids, you know?” realtor Dave Walker told The Glorious American. “During the last round of riots, a BLM leader just told me to buy the two most expensive homes in the ‘whitest neighborhood’ possible.”
Another realtor explained how one BLM leader wanted a fourth home in Martha’s Vineyard, but it was $80,000 above her price range.
“She told me, ‘I’m $80k short? Ok, hold on let me call CNN real quick.’ They were able to start a weekend race war in Akron. She had an extra $100k the next morning and we closed the deal,” the relator explained.
Update: It has now been learned that the recent 26% surge in home prices is exclusively due to BLM leaders buying so much property.
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