CALIFORNIA– On Monday, representatives from the largest homeless encampment in California announced the acquisition of a Major League baseball team. The massive tent city beat out Portland, Oregon, and Nashville, Tennessee, for the 31st professional baseball franchise. “We are proud to welcome the Tent City, Pile Dodgers!” MLB Commissioner, Rob Manfred, yelled into a paper…
Category: Sports
Now Rich And Retired, Megan Rapinoe And Sue Bird Vow To End Women's Sports
SEATTLE, WA – America’s favorite pair of athletes have retired from whatever sports they were trying to play. And now, they’ve got a new mission: Completely end sports for all women. “We don’t need these anymore,” Rapinoe said about all women’s leagues. “Have you seen the endorsement check I got from Subway? There are literally…
NCAA: Trump U Destroys Crooked Hill College 145-44, Advance To Face Dominion Tech
HOUSTON, TX — Trump University easily beat Crooked Hill College Saturday night and has advanced to play Dominion Tech in the NCAA tournament. “I told these players if they joined our great school, they’d eventually get tired of winning, and that’s exactly what’s happening,” President Donald Trump said following the game. Crooked Hill entered the…
Kaepernick Suffers More Oppression As Private Jet Arrives With Cloth Interior
LOS ANGELES, CA — Colin Kaepernick just can’t catch a break. The esteemed civil rights leader was dealt another crippling blow this week when his private jet arrived with cloth interior. Cloth. Not Italian leather. Despite our country spending a century striving to eradicate racism, this latest injustice has the nation starting from square one.…
LeBron James To Miss 2-3 Weeks Due To White Supremacy
LOS ANGELES, CA– Some rough news for Laker fans as the team has announced LeBron James will miss 2 to 3 weeks due to white supremacy. “I just can’t play basketball in this racist climate. No one can, and that’s a fact,” James yelled to all his teammates who were playing basketball. “White supremacists…